I Must Be Dreaming
by Gryffindor's Knight
Summary: Lily has finally decided to tell James about her feelings for him. James, being the marauder he is, ruins her plans by being idiotic. Now she has to 'come clean' in a situation she had not foresaw, but maybe that's what makes it all better.


_She thinks I'm crazy_

_Judging by the faces that she's making_

_And I think she's pretty_

_But pretty's just part of the things she does that amaze me._

* * *

"It was bloody stupid, James. What were you thinking?" Lily Evans exclaimed frantically, her voice echoing in the walls of the otherwise silent Common Room.

"I was just messing around, Lily. And calm down, will you? You're going to wake the whole house up," soothed the raven-haired seventeen-year-old.

She glared down at him from her spot in front of the fireplace. "You could have gotten killed or severely injured! Can't you understand that, you twat?"

James sighed as if he were tired of explaining his 'very understandable' reasons ―understandable only to Sirius and Peter, of course― and said cockily, "Lily, I knew what I was doing. I _am_ a spectacular Quidditch player, after all."

He grinned his 'I-know-I-may-be-a-prat-but-you-know-you-love-me-all-the-same' smile. Seeing that smile only enraged her more.

"You might be 'a spectacular Quidditch player'," she repeated mockingly, "but that does not mean that you can't make mistakes. I can name a few of your games, if you'd like a proof."

He groaned, not too pleased at being reminded of his failures ―especially in Quidditch. He was such a boy! And a stupid one at that, too. How could he have thought that jumping off the Astronomy Tower to his broom was a good idea? Stupid, _so stupid_.

"You are not perfect, James; didn't you even consider the possibility of a miscount in your calculations? Did you stop to think what'd do to your friends and family if you'd fallen of that broom, if you made it there, that is? And me! James, I was _there_. What if your idiotic attempt at being spectacular had gone bad and I saw it all?" He at least had the decency of looking ashamed at that.

"I'm sorry. I—I didn't think—," he started only to be interrupted by a newly exasperated redhead.

"Of course you didn't think! That's your thing, not thinking. You didn't think of the consequences! You never do. Merlin, James, why would you even do such a thing? I went up there to tell you something important and you ruined it all," she finished weakly, suddenly feeling very exhausted.

James stood up, walked to her and, looking at her sheepishly, explained: "To be honest, I just wanted to impress you. I thought: 'Hey, maybe if I can pull this off she'll finally fall for me.' I thought it was clever. I'm sorry." He took a hold of her shoulders, as if testing the waters, before pulling her to him and engulfing her in a hug.

She finally relinquished what was left of her annoyance and sighed, hugging him back. "You really don't deserve to know what I wanted to tell you, big prat."

James merely laughed; squeezing her harder and then letting her go. "Oh, come on. Tell me, Lily; it must've been big, if you willingly decided to break the rules and get out after curfew so you could tell me."

She shook her head while walking over to the couch in which he had been lounging moments before. What a charming idiot. He really didn't deserve to know, but that probably wouldn't stop her.

"You were an idiot tonight, so now you don't get to know." Lily smirked up at his incredulous face. He really _was_ charming; what with his hazel eyes, dark hair, tall and tanned frame, infectious laugh and easygoing personality. How come she hadn't noticed until now? Oh, right, he used to be a toerag. _Used to be_, she repeated to herself.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, t—"

"Stop!"

"No. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me… Are you ready to tell me?"

"I may be later, but not if you keep on being an arse."

"Fine." He sighed with mock disappointment. "But I'm keeping you here until you decide I'm decent enough to know again."

"That may take a while, though, and we have double Potions tomorrow. Plus, it's late."

He rolled his eyes. "It's only 10:47, Evans; besides, I doubt it'll take _that_ long for you to deem me likeable again. I already did the hard work; I got you to be my friend." He gasped as if the word was foreign to him in both form and meaning. "Even though I used to be a total prick to you, so, quite honestly, I am almost certain that this won't take more than an hour."

She'd hex him for being so self-assured, if he weren't right that is. The truth was that she probably would not make it to the hour. She'd been keeping these feelings deep and buried for months now —maybe even more; maybe they'd been there since he stopped bullying people and acted like a decent teenager— and she was tired of it. Lily had never been a secretive person, not with things that really mattered. She'd always had somebody in who she could trust to help her and keep her secrets save: her mum, Severus, Alice, and, most recently, James. And she enjoyed it, she enjoyed being close to James. It was nice and fun and she looked forward to spending time with him ever since the term started four months ago. Not only looked forward to it, she actually missed him during the Christmas break; so much she had even considered the idea of inviting him over for dinner, though she dismissed it as soon as Petunia and her dreadful fiancée, Vernon, decided to stay over until the New Year. That one was quite the mood killer.

But, anyway, the thing was: somewhere along the way, the feelings changed drastically. Where she used to hate him for being so confident —or arrogant, as she used to refer to him— now she admired him for it; where she used to dislike his suave ways, now she rather liked how he could make her blush; where she used to beg for him to _stop _asking her out, now she longed to hear the cheesy invite again. She couldn't wait for that anymore, though. Maybe if she kept waiting, she'd lose her chance; she had hurt him one too many times and he probably wasn't ready for that again, so it now was her turn.

If only she could find the courage she was supposed to have.

That's why she had asked him to meet her in the Astronomy Tower that night. She had had a long, long talk with Alice the day before and she had found the tiny bit of courage that she needed to make her sentiments known. Then it all went to hell when he decided to 'impress her' by almost killing himself.

But now, she couldn't wait any longer. She truly could not keep it inside one more minute.

Lily sighed, sitting upright and looking him in the eye. _He has such beautiful eyes_, she thought, before shaking those kinds of feelings out of her mind.

"Okay. Erm—James—I summoned y—" Lily groaned. This wasn't a formal gathering and she was not Professor McGonagall.

She tried again, "James…," only to lose her train of thought once more.

"Lily…"

"Shut up. Okay. James, I have experienced a weird change of feelings as of lately… And I'm making this too formal again, aren't I?" She must've looked scared, because James did what he did when she was: she pushed her with his hip so she was facing the fire and put his arm around her shoulders, his hand playing with the short red hairs near her neck.

"You know you can tell me anything, Lily, and you don't have to be afraid. I don't want to be afraid of telling me anything. We are friends."

"Well that's just it! That's the problem. We are _friends_." He tensed and stopped his actions. He took it the wrong way. Great, that was just great.

She moved so she was facing him again. "No, no, stop thinking what you're thinking. What I mean is that I don't want to be just friends anymore. I—I stopped seeing you that way some time ago. I—" She swallowed and took his hands in hers. She could do this. "I fancy you, okay? I find myself longing to spend time with you, I can't stop blushing when you do or say sweet things for and to me, I no longer hate the things I used to hate about you and I feel disgustingly jealous when another girl smiles at you. I, Lily Evans, fancy you, James Potter. Against all odds, _I _fancy _you_."

She did it! Now, all she desired was a response… James looked so dumbstruck it would've been quite funny had she not just poured her heart out to the bloke.

_Did I read everything wrong? All of the flirting, was it inside my head? But, he just told me he almost killed himself in an attempt to impress me! Although that's how he is, he could've been kidding… Oh Merlin, what did I just do? _And there comes the panic.

"Look, it is fine if you don't feel anything for me anymore. I mean, Merlin knows I probably deserve it. You used to be an arse, yes, but I wasn't all that pleasant either, was I? If you don't feel anything then we'll forget this and be friends, because I really want to remain friends. Whatever you decide it's okay, just—just say something. Please."

Something in her rambling finally shook him out of his shock and he panicked back. "No! No!" James exhaled and moved closer to her. She could hear his heartbeat, they were that close. Or was it hers? Maybe it was a combination of the two. And it didn't matter, did it?

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words, Lily." He finally laughed a care-free, extremely happy laugh.

She was about to ask him to please explain and answer her sentiments with his own when he lowered his head and kissed her full on the lips. And it wasn't a short, sweet kiss. It was the breath-taking kind, those that gave you the feeling that the people kissing had been waiting for it to happen their entire lives.

James' hands were on her cheeks, combing through her long hair, on her waist. Lily's arms were on his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

She pulled away first, breathless. She did not say anything, she did not need to. His smile was answer enough.

"I love you," he said, resting his forehead on hers and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "And I know you don't love me back, I know you can't possibly because I've loved you for years and you just realised that I'm likeable. So I'm not asking you to love me back, not yet. I just had to tell you."

Lily nodded, and kissed him softly on the lips. "We should go to bed now."

"Why? I won't be able to sleep tonight, love. All I want to do now is kiss you until you forget how to breathe."

She blushed at his words. "Don't say stuff like that."

"But it's the truth."

She shook her head at him, "Nonetheless, we have to be up extremely early tomorrow, and I'd rather have more than an hour of sleep. So, let's go to sleep, and you'll be able to do… _that _later," she said with a smile, disentangling her limbs from his and standing up.

"Fine." He sounded so truly saddened she had to laugh. "Don't laugh at my misery, Evans, it's not polite."

Lily, eyebrows lifted in surprise, replied, "Like you know what's polite and what's not."

She didn't wait for a reply and instead started walking over to the stairways leading to the girls' dormitories.

"Wait! There's something missing." She stopped right in front of the first step and turned around. He was smirking.

"What?"

"You have to ask me out."

"Are you joking?"

"Nope. Since I've been the one asking you out since 4th year, I think it's only fair that you do it this time."

"I'm not asking you out!"

"You have to!"

"James, I'm not going to ask you out. But, I can do something much better."

He looked deeply confused and somewhat deflated. Charming indeed. "What's that?"

She walked over to him, snaked her arms around his torso and asked sweetly, "James Potter, will you be my boyfriend?"

He answered with a murmured 'yes' on her lips. She was smiling when he kissed her.

This time, Lily didn't let the kiss escalate because she knew that if it did, she would not be getting any sleep at all.

"Goodnight," she said as she walked over to the stairs once again.

The last thing she saw before following the path of stairs to her dormitory was his happy, happy smile. A smile that mirrored hers.

* * *

_Tell me that you love me and it'll be alright_

_Are you thinking of me?_

_Just come with me tonight_

_You know I need you_

_Just like you need me._

* * *

**an **This is my second fanfiction, and the first one I've ever published, so I know it's not really good. But, hey, it takes practice, doesn't it? English is not my first language, so if you've made it this far and noticed something wrong, please let me know. Or not, whatever floats your boat.

**disclaimers** Title and Lyrics are from The Maine's amazing song "I Must Be Dreaming". The James and Lily fanart is Viria's. Everything else belongs to Queen Joanne Rowling.

**[a]**


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